Thursday, 15 August 2013

A POEM FOR ALL YOU LADIES

A Woman's Poem...This truly "touching!"




This really IS 'touching'...

in the true and literal sense of the word!
A Woman's Poem
He didn't like the casserole 
And he didn't like my cake, 
He said my biscuits were too hard 
Not like his mother used to make. 
I didn't perk the coffee right 
He didn't like the stew, 
I didn't mend his socks 
The way his mother used to do.. 
I pondered for an answer 
I was looking for a clue. 
Then I turned around and 
Smacked him one

Like his mother used to do.
 

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I love a good poem, don't you ?!?!





Tuesday, 13 August 2013

School Report. F-

Determined not to be late again, I arrived in good time and decided that a spot of brekkie might be a good idea to start the day off.
Then, after assembly, we were split into two separate classes and made our merry way to our allotted rooms. Our drama class finished a tad earlier than next doors lesson, so, I took the opportunity of letting off a screeching balloon through their open doorway. A not so amused teacher immediately collared me and led me down the corridor to a very familiar door. The headmasters' study. Having explained my presence to the headmaster, the teacher left me to my fate.
  'I'll waste non of my time on you today boy,' headmaster said whilst picking up his cane.
  'Bend over the desk Gary,' his intention quite clear now.
Although I was still clothed, those first cane strokes bit and stung my bum with surprising force. Headmaster was true to his word, he even got me to shuffle further up the desk so as to get a longer swing at it.
Next lesson, and seeing as the feeling was coming back into my posterior, I decided more mischief was in order. Having asked to go to the loo, I duly left the class, went out the back door, then round the side to the open window of next doors classroom. The sound of slaps, then the vision of a naked bottom being spanked not three feet from the window, made me peer inside. So distracted was I, that I completely failed to notice that the headmaster was standing in the doorway opposite.
  'Gary! What do you think you are doing boy?'  'Get yourself round here now.'
  'I got lost sir.' But he didn't believe me.
Bent over his desk but this time with no protective covering over my bum, I thought, 'This is gonna hurt.'
Guess what ?
I was right !
First the ruler, yes the same one as last time, then the cane. That ruler sure does push your limits when it is administered in rapid succession. So quick in fact that I have no idea how many strokes were applied. It was almost a relief to get the cane.
Oouch !!
Rounders next, which after a change of venue because of an infestation of dog poo, went off without a hitch. Well, apart from losing the ball a few times that is.
Lunch, and one very naughty girl next to me insisted on pelting the teaching staff at the head of the table with raisins. Then she threw the screwed up empty box, right at the headmaster. Only trouble was, I was in direct eye line of him, and so.....
  'Gary!'
'My study!'
'Two o'clock!'
Damn, that Fluffy can get you into trouble as quick as wink. At least she got the same instruction a few minutes later for chucking bun papers.
After lunch I still had half an hour till my appointment so, while two girls changed the class numbers round, I made and then stuck with chewing gum, a 'Changing Room' sign to the H/ms' study door.
Two o'clock arrived and three of us were lined up in the corridor, each looking slightly pensive at one another. At least I was at the back of the queue.
Not so. He called me in second.
Twelve strokes applied to my bare arse, and none too lightly either, and I went out dancing the rub your bum dance.
Later on in the afternoon, I came across Mr. Craig looking perplexed at the class 2 door. It was locked, but no one was inside, so I helpfully climbed in through the open window and unlocked it from the inside. Very good of me you would have thought. Not so in Mr. Craigs' eyes apparently. He had me bend over the garden wall and then spanked me. Now there's gratitude for you.....
Smoking got me another visit to the headmaster, and another dozen strokes to boot. But then he quizzed, nay GRILLED me, about who was responsible for putting his canes out in the flower beds. Dire consequences were threatened if I didn't own up, but it was none of my doing, so I denied all knowledge of the offence. For once, and quite rightly, he believed me, but then he asked me if I knew who WAS responsible. My smirk gave it away but still I did not divulge the culprits names.
Well I'm no snitch.
And anyway,
Fluffy and Pixie are friends of mine.......
Ooops....Did I let that slip ?  
Sorry.
English spelling and punctuation next, and into my comfort zone...or so I thought.
Zero correct out of six meant 36 spanks from two teachers and then the dunces cap to add to my humiliation.
What is it that Homer says ?
DOH!
Still, at break time I got my own back. Aided by Pixie, we hid the headmasters' water jug and school bell outside his window. Then throughout the rest of the afternoon I kept asking H/M if he needed a glass of water. But he never cottoned on.
Last lesson was our drama play, and having embarrassed ourselves with that, I was free to make mischief once more.
Spotting the other class outside doing art, I wandered out to feign being a judge of their artwork. However, the headmaster also sat amongst them, and noticing earlier in the day that he had on a shelf in his study, a birch rod. I quite innocently enquired if he had had the opportunity of using it on anyone.
  'Not yet Gary, Why ? Would you like to try it?'
Inner devil leapt to my shoulder at the challenge and I heard a voice say,
'Always willing to try something new sir.'

You will have to visit Mr. Geoffs' blog, 'Myspankinglifestyle' on wordpress to view the excellent pictures, but I must say that it was not as bad as expected. The burn is a gradual build up but, having said that, I would not like to be on the receiving end of 30 strokes.

And so the day had come to a close. I very much enjoyed my second term at Thrashwells and felt pleased that I had given it my all. (I just wish I had remembered to take a cushion Hermione).

My thanks and praise goes out to Mr. Geoff, our headmaster, who must have put many many hours of work to organise an event such as this. It is not a thankless task as we all do so love you sir.
And also to the teachers for their preparation in so many different and informative lessons, I say a big thank you.
Without these people, we would have no Thrashwells. Their dedication to educate is beyond doubt, but next time,

you can open your own damn door Mr. Craig.
                                                      (wink).



Kind regards,
Garyntboy.