Thursday 19 December 2013

A Christmas meme (borrowed from Hermione)

Saw this meme on Hermiones' heart and so decided to join in. What the h..., I've been naughty for most of the year so.....
1. Eggnogg or Hot chocolate ?
Hot chocolate, (with some brandy in it)
2. Does santa wrap presents or just put them under the tree ?
Father Christmas wraps them AND puts some of them under the tree. The rest go into sacks at the end of the bed.
3. Coloured or white lights on the tree or house ?
Coloured lights on the tree, white lights on the house outside.
Actually.....I rearranged a set of lights on someones outside tree so that it looked like a flashing penis and balls !!
4. Do you hang mistletoe ?
Yes, and it is always real. Well..you never know your luck.
5. When do you put your decorations up ?
About two weeks before Christmas...depends on how much the kids nag me and then ALWAYS within ten days after.
6. What is your favourite holiday dish ?
Ummm? Probably have to go for duck as that's what I'm having this year but love a roast beef...Yum. So long as it's rare in the middle. Spanked bottom pink colour.
7. Favourite memory as a child ?
Standing on our sofa with my Grandmother looking out the window to see if I could spot Father Christmas flying through the sky. She died the following year so that was our last Christmas together.
8. When and how did you learn the truth about santa ?
I was about nine years old and it was a kid at school, the little sh.. Never the same after that but have had the magic of bringing up my kids to believe.
9.Do you open a gift on Christmas eve ?
NO.....Definitely not...a very naughty thing to do...Hee Hee.
10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree ?
We have decorations that have been handed down through the generations and so they take pride of place. The rest is up to the kids to decide.
11. Snow ! Love it or dread it ?
It would be nice on Christmas day but for the rest of the time...Dread...Unless we are skiing of course.
12. Can you ice skate ?
About as well as Bambi can
13. Do you remember your favourite gift ?
OH YES !! My wife bought me a WW2 flying jacket, fur lined and toasty warm...I still wear it.
14. What's the most important thing about the holidays for you ?
Family...Being together as a family.
15. What's your favourite holiday dessert ?
Christmas pudding...No doubt about it....Lots of brandy poured over it then set alight...Wow. My dad once said that he didn't have any brandy so was going to use paraffin instead. He gave me my sense of humour.
16. What tops your tree ?
A fairy...And the kids ALWAYS fight over whos turn it is to put it up...Grrr.
17. Which do you prefer, giving or receiving ?
Are we talking spankings here or what ? Either way it's the latter....I know, I know, you are all tutting now and shaking your heads.
18. Candy canes...Yuk or Yum ?
There's only one type of cane that I like and it ain't made of candy. Ho Ho Ho.
19. Favourite Christmas show ?
Used to be Morecombe and Wise but Mrs. Browns' Boys has overtaken them now in my book.
20. What is you favourite Christmas song ?
Chris De Burgh..A Spaceman came travelling.


Any comments are welcome....

Kind regards,
Garyntboy.

Happy Christmas everyone...

    

Wednesday 11 December 2013

Three strikes and you're OUCH !!!!

   I don't know if it was because I hadn't had a spanking for a while or because she is getting better at laying on the paddle but I DO know now, that it is not a good idea to call her a 'Strict old scroat' whilst she has the paddle in her hands.

   Six more hard thwacks and then she picked up the tawse saying,
'I don't think you are in any position to be cheeky young man, that deserves the tawse.'
She then stated to lay on some strokes, (I don't remember how many) but then paused, saying,
'Aren't you going to count them then?'
'I didn't know I had to,' I replied.
'You're getting six now and then we will continue your punishment after dinner, if you misbehave anymore this afternoon you will be getting the cane!'
   I took the six without too much fuss, counting each one in turn but then my I.D. (inner devil, remember him?) returned at the most inopportune moment.
'Oooo, promises, promises,' someone blurted out.
Mistake No: 1 !
   Whist she was on the computer and called for my assistance in finding a page she had been on earlier, I pointed it out saying,
'There, you blind bat!'
The look she gave me over her glasses while still sat down said it all.
Mistake No: 2 !
But Gary being Gary, has to push it......So...
   Preparing dinner and I happened to say that the Stilton cheese I was grating smelled as bad as her feet.
That one broke the camels back, so to speak.
Mistake No: 3
I was put over the end of our couch and four strokes of the cane applied before my pants came down.
'Twelve strokes my man, and they are all going to be good ones, so you'd better keep count or else.'

               



    I was a good boy for the rest of the evening !!!!!!


Kind regards,
Garyntboy.

Monday 9 December 2013

Monday morning blues cure

A German guy approaches a lady of the night.
'I vish to buy sex viz you.'
'ok,' says the girl,'I charge £50 an hour.'
'...ist good, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky.'
'No problem, I can do kinky,'says the girl.
So off they go to her flat, where the German produces four bedsprings and a duck caller.
'I vant zat you tie ze springs to each of your hans unt knees.'
The girl finds this most odd but complies, fastening the springs as he had said to her hands and knees.
'Now you vill get on your hans unt knees.'
She duly does this, balancing precariously on the springs.
'You vill please to blow on ze kvacker as I make love to you.'
She finds this odd, but figures it's harmless (and the guy is paying).
The sex is fantastic, as she is bounced all around the room by the energetic German, all the time honking on the duck caller.
Her climax is the most intense that she has ever experienced and it is several minutes before she can speak.
'Wow, that was totally amazing, what do you call that position ?'


'Ah' says the German, Zat is ze.....................










                                 'Four Sprung Duck Technique.'





Happy Monday,
Kind regards,
Gary.

Friday 6 December 2013

Fifty Shades Film

So....The powers that be can't decide what rating to award the upcoming film, 'Fifty shades of grey.' My guess is that if they rate it an 18+ it will be a resounding flop because the British public are far too reserved to be seen entering a cinema with 'sleaze' written all over the place. On the other hand, the dvd (when it comes out) will be a massive hit.
What do you all think ?
Or is everybody too scared to mention the film, just as actors never mention Macbeth. Sorry. That scottish play.

Kind regards,
Gary.