Saturday 27 August 2016

Had a bad day

                                      A fantasy
   Getting dressed for school is always a chore , especially as I was running late, as usual. Being all of thirteen years old and living with my aunty Charlotte wasn't all that bad, she is a kindly woman and took me in some ten years ago now. But her own harsh upbringing had taught her many things. How to keep a thirteen year old boy in line was one of them.
'Gary, are you dressed yet ?' Came the familiar tone from downstairs.
'Yes aunty, just coming' and I muttered under my breath sounds of ecstasy whilst making a hollow fist and shaking it up and down as I reached the top of the stairs.
'Have you got all your school books this time ?' aunty said as she made a beeline for my satchel hanging off the back of the kitchen chair. Too late to intercept her I quickly replied,
'Yes aunty' and 'is that the postman coming?' Pointing at the window. She didn't fall for it and proceeded to open my satchel. My heart started pounding.
The pause between discovery and reaction was palpable, a mere second maybe.
'What on earth ?' ...........
The previous day I had 'rented' a rather old and tatty copy of Penthouse from Charlie Greeves for the princely sum of two pounds, on the understanding it would be returned the next day, today !
Charlie is a sixth former and doesn't have a great sense of humour, well not with us third year pupils anyway. If he saw how aunty had screwed it up and threw it in the kitchen bin I doubt a smile would even have graced his lips. Aunty wasn't smiling either as she dragged me by the ear, sat down on the chair, yanked my trousers down and flung me across her thighs. I barely had time to take a breath before she pulled my underpants down and proceeded to spank my bum with all her might. It stung like crazy and tears were soon hitting the kitchen floor to form individual puddles.
School was a good ten minute walk away and it was now 08:55. I rubbed my sore bum as aunty gave my hearing a stern test. Thankfully she turned and bustled out the door to the parlour, giving me just enough time to retrieve Charlie's mag from the bin and stuff it down the back of my trousers as I pulled them up.
'Gotta go aunty, I'm late,' I shouted and fair ran out of the house, satchel swinging behind me.
Unbeknown to me, aunty had gone into the parlour to retrieve the leather strop with the intention of telling me what to expect when I got home. To find me gone must have perturbed her somewhat but not as much  as when she peered into the bin to find only last nights plate scrapings.
'Little bugger !!!! I'll fix him,' was probably what she had said as she lifted the telephone and then dialled the number for my school.
Truth be told, my first port of call as I entered the school gates was to seek out Charlie and return the article of my downfall ( and reason for my sore posterior ), even if it did mean missing assembly. Sixth formers never had to attend anyway and I knew he was bound to be in the bike sheds smoking with his cronies. But before I could round the corner of the building I heard,
'Gary Bartwell ! come here please,'
Headmistress Blackburn was standing at the main entrance and her left hand was firmly implanted on her hip whilst the other was beckoning with one finger, straight at me.
'Shit,' I whispered as I pushed my satchel to my back, into which the mag had been returned whilst on the way to school.
'What time do you call this ?' Her rhetorical question very nearly getting a reply but for her next sentence.
'Follow me boy !'
Just why private Frazer popped into my head I don't know but I could hear his catchphrase 'we're doomed' and the smile it produced did nothing to improve Miss Blackburns mood.
'You can wipe that silly grin off your face for a start young man,' she said as I stood in front of her desk in the headmistress's study.
She then regaled the telephone conversation she'd had that morning with my aunty, in all it's embarrassing details and then pronounced my sentence, in a quite matter of fact fashion.
'Six of the best is the traditional punishment for such outrageous behaviour young man but as we have just gone metric in our coinage, I propose to give you ten.'
I hardly had time to take in this information as the knot in my stomach tightened when she added,
'On the bare.'
Private Frazer fucked off and was replaced by engineer Scottie of startrek, only this time it wasn't funny. I knew I would shortly be hearing, 'she canee take any more captain.'
The headmistress got up from her chair, slowly and purposefully walked to the corner of her study and retrieved a cane that hung on a hook from the front of a cupboard. My eyes followed her every step until she turned to face me, then I averted them to my feet, hoping upon hope that what was about to happen, wouldn't.
'I'll first like to see this magazine that your aunt says you have,' her voice quite steady and calm. I swung my satchel round my body and opened the flap. With shaking hand I carefully lifted it out as if it were a ticking time bomb and placed it into her outstretched hand. I could feel the blood rush to my face as headmistress looked down and flicked the pages through. With a sudden motion that made me jump she slammed it down on the table in front of me and said,
'Take those trousers down and place your nose precisely in the middle of this disgusting piece of garbage !'
I didn't hesitate for a moment, not wanting to anger her further, and was quickly in position with both arms outstretched across the width of her desk, my nose pressed lightly on the cool front cover of the magazine.
Her pace was slow and deliberate as she rounded to my left side, her fingers taking a grip on the side of my pants. Then I felt a cold touch of something right at the top of my crease and with a sudden jerk the crook of the cane helped my underpants go south. My ears were pounding with the sound of heartbeat and my stomach had shrunk to the size of a walnut, the cane was now lightly touching the middle of my bare and shaking bottom. It left.....then a ghostly swish and a crack and then.......nothing.....a pause of what seemed like an age, surely that must have hurt, then oh my god, a burn like a branding mark rushed across my cheeks. I couldn't stop it if I had tried my hardest for a yelp escaped that surprised and shocked me. I had no time to take all this in when the second searing stroke struck just below the first, forcing my nose to leave the page and a second howl of anguish to fill the room.
The front cover was now slightly magnified by the pool of tears that lay on it, my fists ached and my heart bursting from the pain in my bottom. Headmistress slowly walked back to the corner, rehung her cane and turned to walk back. Ten red and prominent stripes now adorned my once smooth and pale bum and I flinched as she snatched the magazine from the table.
'I will destroy this filth young man and I hope this has been a lesson to you, do you hear me ?'
I somehow managed between sobs to reply,
'Yes headmistress.'
'You can stand in the corner facing my cane while I fill out the punishment book but don't you dare to touch your bottom boy.'
This was turning out to be a very bad day I mused whilst standing in the corner, not least because Charlie would not be best pleased at losing one of his money makers. But looking on the bright side at least aunty would be pleased now that the slate was wiped clean. Never one to hold a grudge, aunty always forgave and forgot once a punishment had been dished out..........
Surprising how wrong a thirteenth year old boy can be of such things. I was still blissfully  unaware of the strop and my impending appointment with it when I got home.
It may be a ten minute walk under normal circumstances but the way home took much longer as my bruised stomach and arms were giving me gyp after my little 'discussion' with Charlie.
It was official, he has no sense of humour. But at least I had a nice tea with aunty to look forward to, but I wouldn't be telling her of my injuries. A snitch I am not. The tear in my trouser knee might prove a little trickier though. I know, the idea popped into my head and seemed quite feasible, I'll say I fell while running to school that morning. Good plan I thought as I walked up the path to the front door.
'How was your day my little angel ?' aunty asked as I closed the door behind me.
Now that's odd, I thought, she never calls me that. Something's up. As I entered the kitchen aunty was standing in front of the sink but in her hand was no washing up utensil. The strop was slowly and very gently tapping her left hand, her eyes slightly narrow and very menacing, bore into me. Victor Meldrew made an appearance and shouted in my brain, 'I don't BELIEVED IT!'
'You can get up them stairs and wash ready for bed,' said aunty,
'Then I will see you in the parlour in your pyjamas in fifteen minutes my man.' The strop smacking slightly harder on her hand as she spoke the last two words.
I can empathize with the condemned man I thought as I descended the stairs, my pyjama bottoms pressing painfully on my bottom with every step. I was already tearful as I opened the parlour door to be greeted by the sight of aunty sat on the Ottoman in front of the window.
'Now, now,' she said in an almost sympathetic tone.
'I know you have already had your punishment at school, but this must be done.'
At least it would be over her knee and not bent over the chair. Small comfort, but when you're in the shit, small comforts count.
'Get over my knee young man and let's get this sorry business over with.'
Compliant to the end I spread myself across her lap and closed my eyes in anticipation of the stinging slaps of her strop....I didn't have to wait long.
Aunty most carefully peeled my bottoms down to my knees and then quite surprisingly, stroked my bum with a gentle, parental touch.
'My my......Headmistress certainly knows how to cane you naughty boys doesn't she ?'
I gave no answer but kept my eyes shut and just nodded slightly. Her hand moved to the small of my back and I knew it was coming........SMACK !!!
The strop struck home on my right bum cheek and stung like a hundred bee stings. A full two seconds later my left cheek received the same painful slap. I could contain my anguish no longer as the third stroke again landed on the right one and I bawled my eyes out.
As I lay on my stomach in bed a mere ten minutes later, hungry, tired and still getting those strange inward sobs that come at intervals, I reflected on the six strokes aunty gave me with the strop. She is most certainly a kindly soul as I knew in my heart of hearts that I deserved more. But then.............I had,
                                      Had a bad day.


Thursday 19 June 2014

Is my secret out ???

   A friend sent these over for me the other day, saying, 'saw these and thought of you.'

   Now I wonder what I can use these slippers for ??????

  Suggestions on a postcard to........
Garyntboy. Go on...You know you want to.

Kind regards,

Monday 9 June 2014

Two cane or not to cane

     I have to give Quality control their due, they do deliver very quickly. Having studied some reviews from the headmaster, I had decided that two canes were better than one and so ordered one junior kooboo and one senior kooboo. They arrived a mere two days later, very commendable I think. That was over a month ago now but this is my first opportunity to write about it on this blog, been a very busy boy....

     The ottoman that you can see, has been put to very good use by my loving wife. The padded seat and height being just right for her to sit on and put me over her knees, so she decided. But it wasn't until much later that I spotted the positioning of the seat means that she gets a perfect view of my bottom in the wall mirror on the opposite wall.....Very cunning isn't she ??

     Anyway, to business......

     Having tried both canes out for a good month now and acquired a good consistency of accuracy, my wife has decided that the senior cane is the better one. The junior one is much more flexible and whippy and is therefore harder to control. I have to say that I agree with her, being the recipient. Although I don't dislike the junior, it has a much harsher burn than the senior and occasionally lands on my upper thighs......

    Very OUCHY !!!!

     The senior cane on the other hand.....although it never is, if you get my drift, has a much deeper, more intense kind of pain, longer lasting and makes me intake a breath before slowly releasing it, having to fight the burn before counting and thanking my Miss. A signal as I am sure you all know, that I am ready for the next stroke.

     So there you have it......A quick review on the virtues of having what I consider to be the top end of the punishment implement to hand......
     Although I could be wrong.....

Kind regards,

Monday 14 April 2014

I think I've broken it !!

    Well I thought that she was referring to my bottom as that last stroke really stung, as it bit into my right bum cheek. The lingering burn seemingly burying itself deeper and deeper into the flesh. But then, as the pause got longer and longer, and no stroke came, I dared to look back over my shoulder. There I saw my pride and joy, the fruits of several hours of labour, being gingerly bent to reveal a split down the middle of the cane.
 Barely believing my eyes, I took it from her grasp and when tapping it against my hand, the tell-tale sound of rattling wood confirmed her statement to be true......She HAD broken it !!!!

                              'Well wadda we do now ???'

   Only one thing for it, I shall be re-reading the headmasters' review of a selection of canes and then ordering one online very shortly.
   It had been a valiant effort but obviously my homemade cane was just not up to the job, my bum being so pert an' all.......Ha ha.
So the professionally made cane is the next obvious step.
   Meanwhile, our only option for the top of the tree implement of punishment is that accursed tawse......
...Please Mr. postman......send a package quickly to me..

Kind regards,

Friday 21 February 2014


I'm sure somebody MUST have posted this before but it is a new one on me...
And it did make me laugh....after I stopped choking.

Some American friends of ours sent these to us and I was into my second bite when I happened to look at the makers name.My German is non existent but isn't a meyer a mayor ????
Now I know why some of you girls swallow......The taste was quite nice...not too salty.

Kind regards,

Thursday 19 December 2013

A Christmas meme (borrowed from Hermione)

Saw this meme on Hermiones' heart and so decided to join in. What the h..., I've been naughty for most of the year so.....
1. Eggnogg or Hot chocolate ?
Hot chocolate, (with some brandy in it)
2. Does santa wrap presents or just put them under the tree ?
Father Christmas wraps them AND puts some of them under the tree. The rest go into sacks at the end of the bed.
3. Coloured or white lights on the tree or house ?
Coloured lights on the tree, white lights on the house outside.
Actually.....I rearranged a set of lights on someones outside tree so that it looked like a flashing penis and balls !!
4. Do you hang mistletoe ?
Yes, and it is always real. never know your luck.
5. When do you put your decorations up ?
About two weeks before Christmas...depends on how much the kids nag me and then ALWAYS within ten days after.
6. What is your favourite holiday dish ?
Ummm? Probably have to go for duck as that's what I'm having this year but love a roast beef...Yum. So long as it's rare in the middle. Spanked bottom pink colour.
7. Favourite memory as a child ?
Standing on our sofa with my Grandmother looking out the window to see if I could spot Father Christmas flying through the sky. She died the following year so that was our last Christmas together.
8. When and how did you learn the truth about santa ?
I was about nine years old and it was a kid at school, the little sh.. Never the same after that but have had the magic of bringing up my kids to believe.
9.Do you open a gift on Christmas eve ?
NO.....Definitely not...a very naughty thing to do...Hee Hee.
10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree ?
We have decorations that have been handed down through the generations and so they take pride of place. The rest is up to the kids to decide.
11. Snow ! Love it or dread it ?
It would be nice on Christmas day but for the rest of the time...Dread...Unless we are skiing of course.
12. Can you ice skate ?
About as well as Bambi can
13. Do you remember your favourite gift ?
OH YES !! My wife bought me a WW2 flying jacket, fur lined and toasty warm...I still wear it.
14. What's the most important thing about the holidays for you ?
Family...Being together as a family.
15. What's your favourite holiday dessert ?
Christmas pudding...No doubt about it....Lots of brandy poured over it then set alight...Wow. My dad once said that he didn't have any brandy so was going to use paraffin instead. He gave me my sense of humour.
16. What tops your tree ?
A fairy...And the kids ALWAYS fight over whos turn it is to put it up...Grrr.
17. Which do you prefer, giving or receiving ?
Are we talking spankings here or what ? Either way it's the latter....I know, I know, you are all tutting now and shaking your heads.
18. Candy canes...Yuk or Yum ?
There's only one type of cane that I like and it ain't made of candy. Ho Ho Ho.
19. Favourite Christmas show ?
Used to be Morecombe and Wise but Mrs. Browns' Boys has overtaken them now in my book.
20. What is you favourite Christmas song ?
Chris De Burgh..A Spaceman came travelling.

Any comments are welcome....

Kind regards,

Happy Christmas everyone...