Friday 24 May 2013

Just a walk in the park.

I love those spur of the moment decisions that we sometimes make, they invariably lead to a great day being had.
As spring had finally arrived and the day promised to be warm and still, we decided on a nice walk through the park to a local pub that we knew. We'd only commented that morning on the fact that we hadn't heard a cuckoo this year when, low and behold, there it was. Distant at first, but getting louder the farther we walked.
Along the way I had noticed a willow tree, full of bloom and nice new shoots, green and pliable.
That got my mind into spank gear. So, after a nice pint and sit down, we headed back the way we'd come.
Casually breaking off one of its' branches, I began stripping the bark from it as we continued to walk. We hadn't gone much further when she turned to me and said, 'That would sting if I was to put it across your bottom wouldn't it'?
Bingo !! Our minds were alike and at the next suitable turn-off we headed down a very quiet and secluded pathway.
Finding a dell with the fairies gone, it was time for the naughty imp to appear. Trousers and pants down, I bent over and waggled my bottom at her. Playing her part well, she began asking me nature questions at which I would reply with any old B.S.
'Swish', and another red welt would appear across both cheeks.
We must have played for a good twenty minutes before deciding we'd pushed our luck of seclusion far enough.
Heading back, she suddenly announced that she needed to pee, so, pointing out a little siding with no nettles, I persuaded her that I would keep watch. Just as she bobbed down my inner devil popped up. Pretending to greet someone with,'good afternoon, lovely day isn't it'. I saw her head pop up followed by, 'Oh shit, I've pee'ed on my trouser leg'.
'You bastard, I knew you'd do something like that', she said as she stomped towards me. But I was already doubled up with laughter, which only increased when she showed me the evidence of her mishap.
I love those impromptu days. Full of magical moments, full of fun.
I've yet to pay the price though.....

Gary....never trust what I say....ntboy.

This is though, a true story.

Kind regards,
Gary.

Thursday 9 May 2013

Hell for leather ? Hell no !!

Everybody knows that excited feeling one gets when a long awaited parcel arrives. So a slight disappointment ensued when on opening it I found the D.D. paddle from The London Tanners was bent up so as to fit into the box. But oh, how beautiful it was when I lifted it out and straightened the leather paddle to its' full length. That gorgeous smell of new leather filled my nostrils and ...........Wooow there, just a minute, getting slightly carried away here.
Anyhoo...Just look at it, look at the craftsmanship of that handle.

                                        Pretty ? Yes ?
But handsome is as handsome does, so after a few weeks, yes that's right, WEEKS, of anxious waiting, (don't you just love teenage kids that never leave the house) we finally got to try it out.
Using a variety of strengths and angles of attack, I'm sure you'll agree that the effects are quite striking.....Ha,ha, get it ? oh well, never mind.
The sound that resonates as it smacks down on my bottom is quite outstanding. And the sting that is left behind (there's another one for you) just begs to be rubbed away with feverish gusto.
Aaah yes, this is going to be a very well used implement in the future. A weapon of mass concussion in the right hands !
                               
                                          There's my lovely !

Ten more strokes were added after these photos were taken (the battery died on my camera, sorry) because    ......
I got the question of her favourite cereal wrong. It's wheat flakes with fruit apparently....
All the previous ones being BECAUSE of my other answers.

Kind regards,
Gary (still just as) ntboy.